16. High Holidays

shana tova to everyone... i wish you a happy healthy new year

our chazan. photo courtesy of A. Samel

my kehila

15. Voltaren Retard

we decided to have a relatively quiet weekend in accra, as we're heading north to tamale for the next week. although we're in the wet season the weather is typically quite warm around 29 Celsius or 85 Fahrenheit and the sky tends to be a little gray. this weekend the sun was out and it was a rare opportunity to sit by the pool in the sun and really slum it in our apartment complex. sunday morning we ran some errands, had a quick bite to eat, and then i went to change into swimmers to go lie by the pool.

as i was changing i noticed a couple of black marks on my body, particularly on my stomach. i started to pick at them, and they came off but seemed to leave a black spot on/in the skin. i was in shock. i asked nicola to help me examine my back and neck, and sure enough she found even more spots on me. did i have ticks? did the 'ants in my pants' from last week have a lasting affect?

we picked off a few more of the little guys and tried to find something bug like or tick like. we couldn't see anything and couldn't find anything on the internet that resembled these symptoms so i decided to take a shower to try and soften the skin and remove the spots. unfortunately all the scratching and scrubbing in the shower only seemed create more and more spots. had the water helped them to multiply? was i dying?

i started to form the basis of my will in my mind as we walked up to reception to ask for a doctor or hospital.  they directed us to the ghana-canada hospital not far from our complex. we walked towards the junction to 'pick a taxi'. nicola managed to strike the perfect balance between alarm at my illness and cynicism over hypochondria. we found a taxi who asked for 8 to get us there, i gave him my 'i'm dying' stare and said 'can we just do 5 i need to get there is a hurry'... fortunately he obliged.

the hospital staff were really nice and professional. they took my vitals, weighed me (i have gained weight but i am pretty sure it's muscle mass) and sent nicola and i to see the doctor. we made awkward small talk before he asked examined my life threatening spots, asked me where we'd been, what we'd been doing and how i'd been feeling. he also threw in 'what are your worst fears about these spots' for good measure.

he then took cotton buds dipped in alcohol and cleaned the spots. it took a little bit of elbow grease, but they seemed to be coming off without leaving anything in/under the skin. it was a miracle. with a cotton bud and alcohol he was curing me of my life threatening disease that would land me on an episode of house. this was followed by lots of relief, bad jokes and laughter as the doctor proceeded to clean me. i sat in a chair, shirt off, with the doctor going spot by spot for 5 minutes and wiping me down. i used this time to politely (if not awkwardly) stare up at the posters on his wall. this is where i found my favorite medical poster of all time - an ad for Voltaren Retard... what a brilliant marketing campaign.

14. Elect-rice-ity / Part 3

sadly the last two weeks have been a little slower than expected due to a lack of electricity at the mill. the generator for the area was working, but there was a break between the pole and the farmhouse which meant that no work beyond drying could be done.

after several hours of discussion about the illegal activity of the neighbors (they paid off a local electrician to feed their cable directly to the generator) we arrived at a logical resolution.... we would not replicate their illegal behavior and would follow the correct process. calling the electricity company seemed like the right thing to do and i was glad we had agreed on the fastest way to access electricity. somehow between this conclusion and the next steps something was lost. i am pretty sure it was just me who was lost, but i was definitely lost. my rice lady has a daughter who has a fiance (chag gadya) who works for the electricity company. he works in another region and is not allowed to request services for our area or get involved in maintenance matters. for some reason over the course of the the next week he and his co-worker showed up on the farm, measured the area, bought cabling, dug a trench and laid cabling to the generator, and the electricity was back on again. i don't quite understand why this was the resolution, but we seriously spent hours discussing the best way to resolve so i am not opening this up again... the lights work and that's that!

it was a good chance to catch-up on some of the administrative tasks in the office where we went through old records to try and create a complete financial picture of the business. although it is a relatively simple business, there are some complicated activities. particularly complicated is where my auntie has lent money to a farmer over a period of several months, not quite recorded it accurately, and then recovered the loan through rice paddy delivered in several installments also not quite recorded accurately. then there is the fun and games of figuring out who owes what money to who. fortunately the power is in the hands of the rice lady, and she usually gets her way.

while we were up in the rice fields without electricity, it was also a national public holiday for founders day. this gave us a day off and a chance to visit one of the major attractions in the area - the akosombo damn. funnily enough this is the source of most of ghana's electricity. lake volta contains all the water that flows from burkina faso in the north, and then makes its way down to the sea. on it's way down through ghana the water passes through massive turbines that turn and generate electricity. it is an incredibly beautiful spot, and we had a great day. it was just a shame that despite being less than 20 minutes away from the source of electricity for all of ghana, we couldn't get electricity in the field!

13. Disconnected Randomness

each week i have tried to group and summarize events into some sort of theme that would help anyone who reads this digest them more efficiently. despite my efforts, there have been a number of 'things' that we've seen or heard that cannot be grouped... they are completely disconnected and completely random, but also completely hilarious (at least to me).

1. the risk taker - there is a lady with a small child at the rice field who cuts his hair whilst he breast feeds. i find the breastfeeding and haircut combo to be very efficient but also very dangerous
2. it's never too early - each morning at starr villas (our home away from home) we have breakfast with several people sitting at the tables near us. more often than not, someone is having a beer at 8.30am. i guess when a majority of the population start their day at 5am, it makes sense... sort of?
3. first impressions - i met someone this week and his opening line was 'ohh you are big, i like your stature". 
4. we have decided to call our taxi driver eugene by  his yiddish name oygen - he seems to like it.
5. market wife - the main markets in the center of accra are makola markets pronounced 'mikola makes' which sounds incredibly similar to nicola marcus
6. international sister - burkina faso lies to the north of ghana and is mentioned a lot in regular conversation in short form 'burkina'. i think they are saying 'betina' every time
7. ghana love - makola and i were walking down the street holding hands and someone approached us. we believed he was going to offer us a product of some sort but instead he came out with 'is she your sweety and the one you really love?'
8. ants in my pants - literally. this week our bed at starr villas was covered in ants and i found them in my pants. i am hoping that i am not caught lying this week, it will hurt. 
9. humping lizard - my favorite of all the animals we have seen so far...i can take all the credit for the excellent camera work in this film

12. Wli-lly?

nicholas pointing to togo

we took the easy way out and turned a potential weekend trip to wli falls (the largest falls in west africa) into a long day trip. we rented a car/driver in order to avoid the full day of public transport required to get to the eastern part of the country near the border with togo. googlemaps directions said 2.5hrs… they have obviously not been to ghana before. add in the inflation for ghana roads and ghana time and you get a multiple of 2 for a 5 hr trip each way. 


regardless, it was absolutely worth it. we were driven by joe who brought his friend uncle prince along for the ride and they were excellent company in the car and on the hike. along the way we dodged potholes, animals, picked up street food, listened to ridiculously loud music, and had random twi conversations. at one point joe’s father called and he answered ‘oh papa mabre’ which means I’m tired. this is one of the few words we know and when we both shouted ‘he’s tired’ joe basically stopped the car in shock that we understood his conversation. 

why is it white?

we arrived at noon and were introduced to francis who would be our guide to the falls. we started with the statue pictured on the right and a 5 minute discussion about why the statue was created this way. the explanation given from francis was that it is because ‘african men have a giant dick’. nicola and I smiled and said ok, but then uncle francis and brother joe reinforced the message with ‘no seriously we have a huge one’….’oh it is true’…all very entertaining and a good start to the hike. 

headpack

this is how you do it 

it was a short hike to the falls which was about an hour each way. francis showed us that backpacks are in fact an incorrect name, they should be called headpacks. he also showed us that it is inefficient to carry a water bottle in your hand.


the short hike was relatively easy so before we turned back francis asked if we wanted to see an amazing viewing point 20 mins away. an hour later after basically hiking vertically with a walking stick, dripping with sweat, we arrived at a spot that was less of a viewing point, and more of a glimpse point. although the hike was good fun, francis’s offer was more like telling someone with box seats at an event that you can show them a better view from the back row… we fell for the nosebleed seats, but we wli-lly enjoyed it anyway. 

ghana's answer to abbey road

joe and uncle prince

waterfall

waterfall and water bottle

glimpse point with water bottle

11. I Bless The Rains Down In Africa

toto we’re not in kansas anymore…although ghana is starting to feel a little more like home. when we come back to our apartment from the field or a weekend trip, I get that comfortable feeling of coming home – not bad after only 6 weeks. it’s not just the apartment. our driver ran over a goat this week. the goat ran out into the middle of the road, the driver hit the brakes, we dragged it under the car for about 20 m until we came to a stop. the goat crawled out from the back of the car and ran away. there was something about this that struck me (excuse the pun) as very symbolic of africa. not because there was a goat in the middle of the street, or you get knocked down and get back up again bla bla bla. rather, because we hit the goat and for a split second everyone stopped and starred at each other, then realized they didn’t give a shit and kept going. I can’t quite put my finger on why this triggered a response, but it did. hopefully the goats and zebras will end their feud soon and the goats will get a crossing of their own to reduce the number of deaths in their community. 


ghana is a fairly religious society, so we are used to a lot of preaching and religious references in our daily activities. however no-one is more preachy or holier than the altruist volunteer who has arrived in africa to save these poor souls. fortunately they are armed with an incredible skillset that sets them apart from others, and will allow them to once and for all cure the world of disease and solve world hunger. as I said above, I am starting to feel more at home here. with familiarity and routine come old habits. so I have been able to find the time to identify and list individuals that I do not like. I have met two forms of these individuals. both of them female, so I will continue to monitor the trend and seek out male examples. 


the first type is about 23 yrs old and says things like “I am here to find scalable, sustainable solutions to systemic problems” whilst the second type is slightly older, just over 30, and says things like “I’m a really experienced professional so my skill set is just something they can’t find here.” both of these characters have a wonderful way of getting under my skin. the smugness with which these lines are delivered makes you feel confident that as soon as you walk away they will be sitting there enjoying the smell of their own farts. 


it’s fortunate that we don’t fit into either category. of course we have created our own superior and more exclusive category who are aware of the reality of the situation. we have found others like us who judge people quickly, and although we’re forced to suffer through the smell of other people’s farts, we can sit and whinge about it in each other’s company, and still enjoy it. a necessary requirement for survival over here!

10. The Importance Of Being Harvest

clearing the streets

we went back to the cape coast last weekend for our second harvest festival experience, and what is known as the largest festival in ghana. whereas last time we were more innocent bystanders watching from above, this time we were right in the middle of the action.

we joined the parade in the street where the drummers lead the charge and the chiefs are carried through crowd. the parade then ended at a huge square where the president met with all the chiefs and the minister for agriculture gave a speech.

piles of speakers

once again the day was filled with loud music generated from piles of speakers, people dancing everywhere (my leg was humped multiple times) and general celebration. we left the festival in a taxi to a nearby resort place on the beach… very tough life!

where's nicholas

my outfit

box seats

cheap seats

happy chief

happy chiefette

el presidente showed up for speeches

don't look down!

let's take the festival home with us

9. The Merchant Of Jewrice

a last minute change to our schedule meant we spent the entire week in the office in accra. this was an exciting opportunity for us to enjoy being in the city, spend time in the office and avoid the endless journey on pot-holed, bumpy dirt roads. it turned out to be a great week, but we discovered some random and unexpected things along the way.

in the office we met with a fairly senior exec who explained the history of the rice industry in africa. special emphasis was placed on the fact that traditionally the middle-men or aggregators (our clients) are despised by all parties. this is due to anti-semitism and the jewish roots of trade in europe. suddenly things were not so black and white… although they seem pretty black and white when kids on the street shout at you obruni (white man) and you are supposed to scream back bibini (black man). this was also reinforced by the fact that our hotel seems to confuse us multiple times each day with another white couple staying here... I guess we do all look the same?!

nicholas was then called upon to attend and help run an industry body annual general meeting the following day. we had no idea what we were in for, it was awesome. we started about an hour late (ghana time) and after all the standard procedures of signing in, sending messages of solidarity from government and aid groups and ‘snapping photos’ we finally began. the opening agenda item was the president’s speech. he recounted his objectives and goals over the duration of his 3 year term and then proceeded to go through 1 by 1 of how and why they were not achieved. the audience members, clearly unhappy constituents, would jump up every so often and shout a question. as the discussion got more and more heated or answers were not provided, someone would quote a verse from the bible with some form of moral for the group. there were elections, and grand statements of future opportunities and of course, more shouting. it was basically like any annual general meeting you have ever attended.

I will leave you with a final thought which is a quote from the ministry representative to the industry group as part of his closing remarks “you are all refusing to nail yourselves.”

enjoying the meeting

nicholas counts votes at the election

8. Rice Rice Baby / Part 2

the past couple of weeks have again been spent between the capital (accra) and the villages where our rice ladies live (akuse and asutuare). with the additional time spent out in the field with our clients, we are getting to know the businesses a little better. 

this week i documented all the buyer and supplier transactions of the past 12 months in order to create a financial baseline for the business. of course this is easier said than done…some of the supplier farmers listed are ‘black man’ and ‘sammy the boy’… clearly very unique names and i am sure it would be easy to track down 'black man' in africa should we need him. aunty becky kind of knows everyone based on physically seeing them, but that doesn't really help creating the picture of an established business. to address all the normal issues of business (increased sales, reduced costs, quality control, accounts receivable, payable etc.) we need to know our stakeholders. as the rice is harvested and delivered to the farm, we are capturing names and locations of the farmers as well as developing an ongoing system to capture records for the business.

the next few weeks are based around figuring out what next. we’re looking at getting funds to put in a drying platform (which is a fancy name for cement floor when rice dries in the sun) and other packaging equipment that may be more attractive to consumers so they buy locally grown rice and not imports from asia.

other than that, when up in the village we live in a bit of a bubble between our hotel and the field. i like to think of it as ghanaian melrose place where we are in a small place, but a lot seems to happen...some random drama and anecdotes from this week

•  a police officer stopped our car this week for what i was sure was a bribe. he asked the driver to get out of the car and they spoke for 5 mins. turned out he was in possession of 2 tv sets and wondered if we wanted to buy one for 60 Cedis?!
• for some reason nicola has become 'nicholas'. ghanaians are typically quite religious and have strong christian beliefs (this does not explain why the end of ramadan is a public holiday, but we'll take it anyway)... nicholas's lack of faith in jesus has now become a regular discussion topic. 
• mosquitoes love nicholas. deet is her new scent...
• each day we get picked up in a taxi, drop nicholas in town at her rice aunty and then i 'pick a motorbike' to my rice auntie's farm. i thought my motorbike driver was a cousin of my rice autnie and i was doing them a favor by paying him for the ride daily, so i would wait for him even though he is often late. they told me yesterday he is a trouble maker and they sacked him from being their driver so if i don't like him i shouldn't use him. i responded with 'i thought i was helping him out, he showed me photos of his wife and family and he's been pretty nice'.... the response before i could even finish my sentence was 'are you the one who asked him to have a family?'
• i was told that a fridge is being delivered to the farm because 'you whites only drink cold water'
• i had a curb your enthusiasm moment this week when i was asked 'do you respect time' (do you respect wood?). as ghanaians do not respect time, my rice family wanted to know if i did. upon answering 'yes' they began shouting at everyone - taxi drivers, motorbike drivers and others around us that i respect time and they should know this. 
• we have not quite acquired a taste for fufu, banku or light soup and subsequently have eaten either chicken or tilapia with rice for every meal during the week. on a thursday i seem to get a special treat made for me in the field of cocoyam leave stew and dried fish bits with yam. hard to say no considering the effort that goes into it, but i'll take a burger or pasta and cheese over stew anyday.
• we both share a great love for smothering our food in shit-o, which is a black pepper sauce. it feels odd asking the wait staff to cover my food in shit...
• we visited the local bead factory (see photo below). they make beads.
• there are a lot of signs for plumbers advertising their services to repair manhole leakages... gets me everytime

visit to the bead factory

hiding from mosquitoes

water boy

working hard

nicholas joins evelyn my rice sister

the warehouse

the mill

watching rice dry is exhausting

7. The Age Of Accra-rius

we moved into our new and more permanent apartment in east legon this week - check it out at http://www.royalrichester.com/ . we're really slumming it with our second bedroom, gym and pool. we also discovered a trivia quiz where all the expats seem to congregate. we performed relatively poorly, but i am confident we'll win before we leave.


we ate thai this week at a place that had been recommended by many people. it was all going very well until i found a maggot in my curry.


on the weekend the city seems to come alive with street parties set-up in random places. a street party consists of plastic tables and chairs, a small tent and a pile of about 20 speakers on top of each other generating really loud music. the music of choice here is hiplife. it's like african hip-hop mixed with a poppy beat and a lot of ghanaian innuendo and turn of phrase e.g. 'she like it in the morning, she like it in the evening'... 'teach me that ting'....or my personal favorite 'i need an african man'. it's actually pretty good and i am considering becoming the eminem of ghana. more importantly, it generates an awesome response from people here who just seem to spontaneously break into dance. their hair is more co-ordinated than i am. it's depressing.


 a strange number of you responded to the ‘ladies please stand-up’ description below with requests for photos...creepy.

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if i was a giraffe this is how i would look eating

i can see you....